Why Jurassic Park III is objectively* the best of the franchise

Every film in the Jurassic Park / World franchise has plenty of problems, but it is actually quite simple to work out which is the best of the four films to date.

Do you know what I want to see in a dinosaur film like Jurassic Park? Dinosaurs.

Do you know what I don’t want to see in a dinosaur film? Annoying children.

So, which of the films has the the most amount of dinosaur footage (absolute, and especially relative to run time) and the least amount of annoying children? Yes, Jurassic Park III is in fact quite clearly the best film to date. Simple. Case closed.

* For a given value of ‘objectively’

5 Responses to “Why Jurassic Park III is objectively* the best of the franchise”

  1. 1 Tom's Nature-up-close Photography and Mindfulness Blog 31/01/2016 at 6:16 pm

    I agree! (Dinotasia is a great film too!) 🙂

  2. 2 Nima 31/01/2016 at 10:04 pm

    Great point. While I don’t like any of the JP films for the dinosaurs per se, I do admit that JP3 is good because cuts to the chase and has the most dinosaur footage and least amount of annoying dialog with bratty children. Why they can’t script more normal children who don’t drive you up a wall, I don’t know. Maybe this says something nihilistic about how Spielberg (and hollywood in general) view children?

    Also Dr. Grant returns in JP3, and I like how you get to hear more of his wise philosophy about how Jurassic park itself – a rash and sensational corporate entertainment adventure into dangerous frontier science and systemic risks of a vanished world that the corporate world of “bottom lines” and “shareholder windfalls” simply doesn’t understand – was a bad, BAD idea.

  3. 3 Amy Acquafondata 02/02/2016 at 12:18 am

    I could have liked Jurassic Park 3 so much more if the annoying parents and Billy had been eaten. I mean they start arguing and yelling, and I am just begging for any mid-sized theropod to come bite off their heads. Jurassic world was indeed silly, but kind of fun if you just took it as entertainment and not Citizen Kane. Must admit would’ve been better if the head scientist had gotten eaten by his lab creations, like in Gremlins 2.

  4. 4 Traumador Tyrannosaur 02/02/2016 at 11:57 am

    I find I haven’t gone back to the Jurassic Park films (apart from my cheap tues night Jurassic World this past summer), and instead tend to watch the BBC/ITV Dino documentaries (especially the Nigel Marvin ones… getting a bit dated, but still amazingly well done!)

  5. 5 a 07/02/2016 at 6:37 pm

    I still haven’t seen the fourth movie so I don’t know about it, but I kinda liked JP2 best even though many people seem to hate it. Nowadays I find te first movie somehow annoying, even if it should be the best… The first two movies presented the dinosaurs as animals, but third movie was all “MUST KILL MUST KILL SOMETHING MOVES MUST KILL” *CRASH BOOM BAM*, even though I mainly remember that pterosaur scene. I’ve never cared much about those humans, especially when I was a kid… Or the plot… And now the dinosaurs are not as cool as they were when I was a kid, either…

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