The big biology conspiracy ‘revealed’…or not

I typically try to avoid the whole field of the ‘culture wars’ of science and religion and anti-science / anti-intellectualism, partly because it is being dealt with at great length and in great detail elsewhere online, and mostly because I want to deal with why real science is right and interesting rather than why the other stuff is nonsense and dull. There are however things that are pushed forward in apparent seriousness of such mind-boggling stupidity that I find it genuinely staggering. This one has come up again and again and it just stops my mind every time I encounter it. It runs in various forms and formats, but is essentially this:

All the evidence for evolution is made up and / or counter evidence to evolution has been concealed by biologists since Darwin.

Yes, really. I have seen it plenty of times and it is a genuine criticism being genuinely put forwards by idiots. What staggers me is that anyone with more than a few seconds of thought on their hands could not work out just how amazingly ludicrous this proposition is. Even if we assume that they are incredibly ignorant about just how many fossils there are in museums, the history of science, how academia works and how papers get published and so on (and by God if there is not an absolute ton of this stuff lying around), it *still* seems ridiculously unlikely.

Let’s just start at the beginning – for this to be true every single person who has ever studied biology seriously (and for the sake of argument I’ll only talk about PhDs and above) must be aware that there is no evidence for natural selection, it’s all been made up, and to continue in a research career, they must keep this quiet and keep making up new data. Not a single one of these people *EVER* has spilt the beans, come out and said that it’s all a lie, left clues, made a mistake, written a diary, blog, or book, or given the game away accidentally or deliberately for the last 150 years. Even professed creationists have been through various universities and museums, and continued to be creationists without having actually been able to find any support for this idea.

Let’s take it a bit further. I would guess that there are around 250 full time palaeontologists in the UK right now (this is deliberately a very conservative estimate) and probably around ten times that in terms of biologists (again, PhD students and above, in full time research only). We can then add to that a few people from other disciplines like medicine and veterinary science (only a few since these fields are less reliant on evolutionary theory in terms of research and thus would only rarely enter the conspiracy, obviously) so let’s call it a round 3000. There are doubtless various people who have retired, left the field, changed tack and so on who were once active researchers and would ‘know’ so this is still probably a conservative figure. While the UK does have a strong history of research compared to many countries (there are probably more palaeontolgists in the UK than China) it is only a small country, and so I think it fair to allow for another ten times that figure to cover the rest of the world (and the USA alone might well have most of that covered and of course there are major countries in science like France, Germany and Japan to consider). That gives us 30 000 researchers. Now lets include history, and while the numbers will keep growing, a 40 year career is quite respectable so even minimising things, we can say that about four careers worth of researchers have passed through the doors of the ‘conspiracy’ in 150 years. That gives us 120 000 people at an absolute minimum must have entered the ‘cabal’ without a single one ever having ever made a single mistake, slip, or genuinely bust out and just yelled to the world “it’s all made up”!

One hundred and twenty thousand people spread over three centuries, two hundred countries, and probably a few thousand institutes. Many of them were in the early days only in contact occasionally in person or by letter which is not the beast way of making sure new ‘converts’ to the ‘cabal’ would be kept quiet. Now everyone is in constant contact by phone and e-mail and online, and many researchers open up museums and labs to the public as well as communicating with them directly which might give it away. Even then, there are tens of thousands of researchers all over the world who need to be kept in check and controlled to keep this hypothetical secret, well, secret. And everyone who has worked in the field musty be told or else they might go and discover it by accident, or start criticising the ‘made up’ data etc.

Is it really, really possible for this to exist? Watergate, as covered by a sitting president was an incredibly small thing really (a few burglaries and wire taps) and got exposed within months of it starting, yet apparently a disorganised group of palaeontologists, medics and biologists spread across the globe can keep this quiet for a century and a half (or longer if you want to include the simple relationships of animals and that organisms change over time, which goes back decades or even centuries more, and of course those people have to interact and collaborate with all kinds of other research scientists and either keep things hidden from them, or let them in and add more conspirators to keep in line). All the ‘made up’ data and research papers (and they number in the millions if not tens of millions) have to be checked and cross referenced to make sure they all match and all perpetuate the same lie in the same way or else it would be spotted (or at least traceable) given that this is all freely available information.

Even a second’s though should make this obvious, to, well, I would hope almost anyone over the age of six. That is, of course, unless there is a secret team of evolution ninjas assassinating anyone who steps out of line and threatens to reveal the ‘secret’. Yeah, that must be it. The evolution ninjas. Obviously.

19 Responses to “The big biology conspiracy ‘revealed’…or not”

  1. 1 nelsonmelle 18/03/2009 at 10:35 am

    I enjoyed that. Maybe Dan Brown can write a novel about this with the evolution ninjas. I really enjoy your blog. 😉

  2. 2 Andy 18/03/2009 at 2:09 pm


    I’ve always cited paleontologists’ egos as one of the best pieces of evidence for evolution. If I (or anyone else with a sense of what it takes to get into Nature) had irrefutable proof that dinosaurs coexisted with humans, I sure as heck wouldn’t be just sitting around on my computer.

  3. 3 Garry Hayes (Geotripper) 18/03/2009 at 2:49 pm

    Actually, you left out the legions of conspirators in the geological sciences who have been hiding the evidence of Noah’s Ark and the 6,000 year old earth in Area 51. And the astronomers and their proof that stars are only a few thousand miles away in the big dome over the flat earth….

  4. 4 Mike Taylor 18/03/2009 at 3:53 pm


    I have to tell you this, but there IS a conspiracy. We just haven’t inducted you yet. Bring your own apron and be ready to roll up your trouser-leg.

  5. 5 David Hone 18/03/2009 at 11:05 pm

    Yes Mike, but now I know! Ah-ha!!!!

  6. 6 Kyle 19/03/2009 at 5:09 am

    I guess you’ve been over to — what a scary site of misinformation.

    I guess we shouldn’t mention the Big Geology conspiracy about “plate tectonics,” nor the Big Physics conspiracy about “gravity” — it’s really angels that make birds fly, and demons tugging on our souls that keep us grounded.

  7. 7 mythusmage 19/03/2009 at 11:24 am

    If you think that’s bad, wait till you learn how we keep secret the manufacturing and placement of all those sasquatch footprints. 🙂

  8. 8 Kyle 19/03/2009 at 12:40 pm

    I was only joking, but while on Youtube I discovered there is a “Conspiracy of Science – Earth is in fact growing” and another fellow explaining how there is a conspiracy of Astronomers “what you aren’t being told about evolutionary astronomy”… my head is spinning, fortunately it is at the centre of universe so I’m not getting too dizzy.

  9. 9 David Hone 19/03/2009 at 6:03 pm

    Yes Kyle, I have seen that, and yes it is scary.

  10. 10 Oliver 19/03/2009 at 6:32 pm

    To quote: “120 000 people at an absolute minimum must have entered the ‘cabal’ without a single one ever having […] yelled to the world ‘it’s all made up'”

    Yeah, but millions if not billions of religious people have managed to live their whole lives without ever yelling “it’s all made up” either 🙂


    • 11 ShaunOTD 10/09/2009 at 4:19 am

      “Yeah, but millions if not billions of religious people have managed to live their whole lives without ever yelling “it’s all made up” either”

      Quite a lot of us have made that leap though.

  11. 13 mythusmage 20/03/2009 at 1:19 am

    Whether you’re talking about the evolution conspiracy or an expanding Earth, it’s all magical thinking. The people who espouse a conspiracy to hide the truth about evolution gain their knowledge through revelation, and think that is how all knowledge is gained. They have no idea how the scientific method works, or how research is done, so they see science as just another way to meditate and in the meditation be enlightened.

    Now illumination is a part of science, but it is illumination based on considering the data gathered during the course of experimentation and observation. And it is a falsifiable realization, that can be shown to be wrong by further experimentation and observation.

    That is the difference between a scientists and these authorities, the scientist knows he could be wrong. The authority cannot stand the possibility of being wrong.

  12. 14 Manabu Sakamoto 20/03/2009 at 6:34 pm

    I would like to take this opportunity to clarify that the so-called ‘evolution ninjas’ are an independent organisation of mercenaries specialising in black-ops and intelligence and are not on the payroll of us palaeontologists nor any research counsil such as NERC or BBSRC. Their usual clients are governments or any strong political/military organisation, and they primarily deal with political assassinations and illegal recon missions. Sometimes, us palaeontologists require their services as well, but because of their exorbitant fees, it is extemely difficult for such grant proposals to be accepted by research councils – you have to make a really strong case.

    Of course, that’s why sometimes, even if you think you have a strong application, your grant gets rejected…because the research counsil just had to fund an urgent ninja-ops.


  13. 15 David Hone 20/03/2009 at 7:23 pm

    It would explain rather alot…

  14. 16 Chris 04/07/2011 at 1:42 pm

    Well I get this… but if there is life for more than one generation natural selection must occur there is no way around. Survival of the fittest, most willing to adapt- whatever you wanna call it. But what works will perpetuate its DNA and what doesn’t work will. Similarly in business, what is profitable will continue, and what isn’t generally will not.

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